*Janet Reno read children’s stories to kids at the White House Easter Egg Roll. The children paid strict attention to her. When she says she will huff and puff and blow your house down, they know she’s not kidding.
*In an effort to keep Janet Reno from breaking up his Microsoft family, Bill Gates just hired an AP photographer to follow him everywhere.
*The GOP is furious over the INS raid on Elian’s Miami home. They claim the boy had a gun pointed at his head and was drugged into a state of euphoria. In the Los Angeles school system, that’s called the first grade.
*Chevy Chase played nine holes of golf with President Clinton. He told reporters afterward that the president doesn’t cheat. He also told the “Today” show in 1976 that John Belushi really had his act together.
*Janet Reno received dozens of bouquets and floral arrangements for liberating Elian. Fidel Castro is a gentleman. When she snatched Al Gore out of the hands of the Independent Counsel, she didn’t even get a card.
*George W. Bush attended an $18 million fund-raising gala in Washington. Philip Morris, the National Distillers Association and casino gaming lobbyists were on the guest list. George W. Bush is more than just the governor of Texas, he’s the last surviving member of the Rat Pack.
*John McCain changed his story on the Confederate flag, claiming he opposed it all along. This was the last straw. The next day, he was expelled from the Keating Five for conduct unbecoming a swindler of widows.
Hamilton is the host comedian of the Comedy Store in Hollywood and writes a daily syndicated humor column. He can be reached for corporate performances at his web site, www.ArgusHamilton.com.
