ARGUS
by Argus Hamilton
& #149; President Bush declared in his State of the Union address that America’s new creed is “Let’s Roll.” This got a standing ovation on both sides of the aisle. Republicans thought he was raising defense spending and Democrats thought he was legalizing medical marijuana.
& #149; President Bush urged Democrats and Republicans to work together on all issues. However, party differences are fundamental. Halfway through the speech, John Ashcroft walked down the aisle and gave Hillary a ticket for showing too much ankle.
& #149; The White House will resume public tours under heavy security. At the start of each tour, they make you take off your shoes and give you an intimate patdown. You would think they would have closed the “Meet Mr. Clinton” exhibit by now.
& #149; Mike Tyson disrupted a fight promotion event in New York by attacking Lennox Lewis onstage and biting the heavyweight champion on the leg. Nobody faults Mike Tyson for wanting to get back into the ring. A man’s got to eat.
Hamilton is the host comedian of the Comedy Store in Hollywood and writes a daily syndicated humor column. He can be reached for corporate performances at his web site,
www.ArgusHamilton.com.
