WITH THE ANNUAL TONGUE IN CHEEK, HERE GOES:
Newport Beach approves Red Light Initiative, banning all commercial development and turning Mariners Mile into Condo Row.
The Orange County supervisors figure out how to entirely eliminate wage and salary costs: They approve 110% pensions for all county workers, and everyone retires.
Mike Schroeder is retained to manage both the Rackauckas and Spitzer D.A. campaigns.
New reality show: “Greg Haidl.”
Dana Point decides to become one big five-star resort.
New career for Dennis Rodman: celebrity chef.
Orange County Transportation Authority appoints George Argyros as ambassador to the Inland Empire. Julia Argyros changes her name to Hootenanny.
Federal Reserve Board, crossing church-state divide, declares there is a god,Bill Gross.
To raise yet more for the capital campaign, Jim Doti offers shares of Chapman U in a Dutch auction.
OC attempts to annex Long Beach on campaign slogan, “It’s too cool for L.A.”
Bored silly, Henry “Nick” Nicholas launches a hostile takeover of India.
“Inside OC” replaces “The O’Reilly Factor.”
Anaheim agrees to Angels name change. Great Park board approves an international airport. Donald Bren calls a press conference. Pigs fly.
A developer seeks to rezone a site from “residential” to “industrial.” World ends.
,Rick Reiff
